I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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