he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
