also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
