I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
