dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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