Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
