remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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