Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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