Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
