he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
