Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
please come you make the beer taste better
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
