So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
did i just pee glitter
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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