The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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