I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
