i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
