Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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