meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
