Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
