its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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