Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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