Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
