Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
