I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
