Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
