My nipple is on Facebook.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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