I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
