I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
