i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize