handjob tips. give me some.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
