Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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