My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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