I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize