Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
