i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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