the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
