he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
