My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
