Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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