I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
