pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
