We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize