We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The uberlube is also flammable
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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