Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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