i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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