If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
