I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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