The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
