How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
