She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
