The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
